Funny concept, huh. First things first, let's define "paradigm." According to Stephen Covey in his book The 8th Habit, he defines paradigm as "a perception, assumption, theory, frame of reference or lens through which you view the world." How often do we switch paradigms throughout our lives? Hopefully? We switch them LOTS! (:

Remember floating as a kid? That feeling of weightlessness and carefree existence? You closed your eyes, breathed deeply, relaxed all of your muscles...and laid on the water - amazing! It's an incredible moment of giving up control, which is why I think you see more children do this than adults! (: Do you remember giving a rat's rear end where you were headed?

If you're feeling a fraying of the edges, a constant flow of energy and emotion draining out of you, a frazzled sense of having to be everything to everyone, you are suffering from a lack of focus.
Time to become AWARE.

Life can be so crazy difficult. Even if you think you have a direction, knowing which way to go can be so overwhelming. We long for answers, and in our longing search out the wisdom of others, those we respect or those who have "been there." I would caution against too much of this for a couple of reasons:

Have you ever noticed how you can tolerate behavior in someone you know really well that you would never tolerate in another? Ever wondered about that? I have. Just recently it came to my attention that when I get the awesome opportunity to get to know someone really well, I get SO into them! I find them to be so cool, all the intricate things that make them do the things they do!

Loving yourself healthy - this is a term that came from my own struggles and experiences. It is a term that probably means something different to each person. For me, it means allowing myself to feel and suffer. I have had for most of my life an unreasonably high expectation of myself to be able to move on, to be strong, to be able to let go of things quickly if need be.

It seems like it, doesn't it. In the long, cold nights of despair...the dreary, numbing days where all you can do is stare bleakly ahead. Our tendency when we feel this is to crawl deep inside, put on a smiling face, and pretend, pretend, pretend - pretend till the cows come home! But this is DANGEROUS - worse than killing yourself slowly through drugs, drinking or smoking.

Proving Time. It happens to anyone who chooses to answer the call of a better life. It is a holding pattern, a time of intense grief and despair, a period of struggling desperately to hold onto faith, it means something different for everyone. But the purpose behind every individual's Proving Time is to test them.

Are you the one that will succeed? Are you the one that is special? Can YOU really make a difference? Tell me, are you called to make a difference, to succeed, to be special? If you feel the urge, the push, the pull, whatever you want to call it, then I can tell you unequivocally, YES! How could I possilby be so sure? Because you are hearing something.

And really...is that the goal?! We all know that we cannot please everybody all the time, so why determine what you would do or say in any given situation, based on the opinions of others? Do we even KNOW the opinions of others, or are we just making an educated guess? Take out the guesswork - be yourself in every possible moment.